" Been there, done that," I joked.Mary Jo laughed. Hers was a hearty laugh not a giggle or a smirk."So what's on your mind?" I asked.Mary Jo froze for a second and took a deep breath. "I was hoping you would take me on a date this Saturday night."I hadn't seen that one coming. I almost choked on my pop.Mary Jo didn't hesitate. She continued, "I know I told you I'm not the girl for you, John, and I still believe that. Right now, though, I need a friend to help me out, and I didn't think you were. Maybe it was the residents were more evenly tanned, maybe it was that the women, if not all top-free, were more likely to walk around with their shirts unbuttoned; it could also be that there seemed to be a general air of assuredness about them.Sheriff Fernandez had placed all his deputies on active duty, as well as all the town's police cars. He had, furthermore contacted the State Police to have a few patrol cars on stand-by. All the national broadcasting companies had video crews, in some. " Nicole, it might help if you tell me what it is," Gabriela said with a laugh."Here, look at it yourself."Gabriela caught the brochure as Nicole tossed it her way. The caption made her gasp."Are you crazy? There's no way I'm using one of these." Oh come on, it'll be fun. I'll help you even." Nicole, dating services are for desperate and loose women."Peals of laughter came from her daughter until Gabriela blushed."I'm not either of those." Mom, you haven't had a steady man in your life since. They were all doing a great job of preparing a gourmet meal, but I was Gordon Ramsay, and this was Kitchen Nightmares , so I just pretended they were incompetent, because it was more fun that way. "You've got to be fuckin' kidding me!" I cried. "You call that chopping parsley!" The cute pink-cheeked little butter ball was actually doing an awesome job, but I wanted to tell her off and spank her big bottom. And that is just what I did. They all knew I was just pretending. And they were.
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